Jazz, Jazz, Jazz and more Jazz! Why is everything about Jazz?
I mean, well look! Everyone give him glory and fame! What do I get? Everyone calls me a whiney brat!
I'd like THEM to hang by their wrists at the mercy of an insane turtle! I'd like THEM to know what it feels like to be in that position with no food, water, or way to go to the bathroom!
I don't whine. And do you think that I can help it if my mom treats me like a princess (which I am) and spends on me as if there was no tomorrow? If I was a brat, I wouldn't be interested in Jazz! I would have divorced him by now!
A lot of people say that Jazz married me for the money. I know that that is not true, because he would not stand a second in court against my lawyer.
Does anyone know what it is like to have a husband who keeps on thinking he has to save the world? Does anyone know what it is like to have a brother in law who slobbers and eats birds LIVE? I mean, Spaz is old enough to know better than to eat birds. And he is old enough to stop the slobbering! His tongue is always out! Only babies do that, and even then rarely! Sometimes I wonder if Jazz dropped Spaz on his head when he was a baby. That would explain a lot. And then there is Lori. She sickens me. If people don't know she is Jazz's sister and see him and her walking together they will say they make the perfect couple! They are siblings for goodness sake! He married ME! And if he knows what is good for him, he will stay married to me.
And my family. How would Jazz like it if his mother thought that he should stay single because no rabbit was good enough for him? I love my mom a lot, but she sometimes gets on my nerves.
This whole thing stinks. Jazz this, Jazz that, Spaz this, Spaz that, Lori this, Lori that, Devan this, Devan that, heck, even the dopefish gets more attention than me! And the dopefish isn't even in the game!
I am not saying that everyone should give me the attention. I'd just like people to know that if it wasn't for me, Jazz would still be in prison and no one would have even thought to tell Spaz to free him.
Jazz is a big hero. Hmmpf. Who, I ask, who saved him from falling off the cliff edge when he so foolishly tried to cross the fissure by the rope? He didn't even look to see if it was fraying, which it was!
"Beloved Princess Eva Earlong" is what I was referred to before this whole mess. Now what it is? "Adored and slobbered over by all the girls in the world Prince Jazz, His Cute Brother Spaz, Lori-The-Babe, and Jazz's wife."
They don't even mention my name!
And even Lori gets an unofficial title! She didn't even show up for her brother's wedding! Can you believe that? She didn't show up for quite a while. In fact, she didn't start in on this until Jazz returned my ring! She joins late, later than anyone else does, and still she gets title of most popular girl in the country!
Spaz gets on my nerves sometimes. One day after talking with Jazz in the gardens of the castle I went back to my room to get a clean outfit, and Spaz was inside my room, drinking my perfume, eating my bath oil pearls, and he was trying on my shoes! I yanked the shoes off his feet, shoved him out of my room and did not talk to him for some time.
Jazz, well he is a nice husband, but he has somehow got the idea that he has got to save the world lodged in his brain. I would like to settle down, have a few kids and live peacefully, but no, he keeps on buying weapons, and I keep on finding him in a tavern!
There must be something about the tavern, that draws rabbits to it like a pitcher plant. No escape, unless someone drags you out. That someone is usually me, if I get the guts to go in there.
One day when Jazz needed to come to a big conference, I searched the whole castle for him. Ten minutes after he was suppose to talk, I found out from a guard that he, Spaz and Lori had left the castle several hours ago. I searched franticly until finally someone said that he had seen the trio enter the Tavern. I was so mad that I did not feel scared when I entered. When I did come in, I saw the usual things. People laughing, dancing, getting drunk, and in the midst of it all was my "darling" husband. He was drunk. And he was still drinking more. Others were crowded around the table he was at, and some were giving him extra drinks. Spaz was at a barstool, drinking a little and eating something that I don't know what it was, and I don't want to know. It took me a while to find Lori. Once I did find her, she saw me and jumped up, red faced. The guy who had been kissing her moments before melted into the background. She surprised me very much. I had always thought that she was loyal to her boyfriend. I told her boyfriend to forgive and forget, and blamed it on the four drinks she had just finished off. I went over to Jazz's table, and finally after some pushing forwards got to him. He looked at me, and then asked me if he could buy me a drink. I grabbed him by the arm, and taking Lori with the other arm dragged them out. Spaz followed along, and thankfully he wasn't drunk so I did not have to drag him. When we reached the castle, Mother was enraged. I put Jazz, Spaz and Lori in the care of the guards, and spoke for Jazz, saying that he was unable to talk. He was. He was so drunk that no one could get a word out of him.
People say that Jazz has to put up with me, and doesn't like me because I am a whiney dumb brat.
If they ever heard my story, then who would they say has to put up with whom?